Simon Schama’s History Of The Pancake
“First there came the egg, no ordinary egg, the egg of a hen, a hen of God, cast out of Paradise by the sin of egg deniers, those who called the egg unclean and forced it to wander in the wilderness searching for flour and water with which to transform itself from its egg like bonds and become a pancake, not any old pancake, a pancake of the one God, the God of all pancakes, the God of all eggs. In time, the egg came upon the land of the flour dwellers and spoke unto them and they took the egg in and introduced him to their neighbours the water-ites who worshipped false Gods and refused to join the egg and the flour dwellers to become one as a pancake.
The egg prayed to the God of all eggs, and hens and flour and water and pancakes and God sent the egg across the deserts and the mountains and the forests of the worlds where he was beaten and called a demon in egg like form. But the egg stayed true to its eggness and triumphed because the egg of God was still an egg after all these years and so, the water-ites said unto the flour dwellers, ‘that egg sure is stubborn, fuck it, let’s make a pancake.’ Thus it was that the pancake came into being and the egg, the egg of God, the egg of wisdom, the egg of all understanding smiled smugly to himself, for he was on the telly.”