One of convicted sex case Max Clifford’s claims whilst manipulating, and earning from, scorned “celebrities” was  that he didn’t do contracts? All his clients and their skellingbones were being looked after by him on a handshake and trust basis. They must be shitting bricks today as they see the glint of grass in his cold arrogant eyes.

It’s certain he will do time, more certain he will not do anything like eight years. I’m also certain he will use his time by writing the biggest vat of celebrity effluent ever seen. Hopefully Operation Yewtree will have spent that time actually investigating at deeper levels instead of just cherry picking the obvious…but I doubt he will be around to see, if any, their results.

Talking of Yewtree, how has the Cyril Smith case STILL been bypassed these idiots and managed to end up at Parliament where it will be looked at by…erm…the people who are implicated?. Be that implication by party affiliation, on a personal level or worse yet using ignorance as a plea in the face of nailed on facts.  Is it just me or is there not something utterly disgusting about David Steel defending both Smith, his party and himself whilst basically passing it all off as “that’s just how it was back in the day”.   Sadly more disgusting is the fact that in the Smith allegations the police have not been motivated by victims statements, media accusations or even an admittance of guilt to a peer of the realm…no, their suspicions have now, and only now, been aroused by the publication of a book.

The current spotlight is on sexual assault, paedophilia and europe. A spotlight so bright that racism, xenophobia, homophobia, fraud and every other unpleasant trait you care to mention is now ok. To challenge any of it is to be accused of being a left wing non-patriot. Surely t’s not about political allegiance or who has more wrong ‘uns supporting your party…it’s just about right and wrong. Which is why I’m afraid in a world of common sense not one of these gangs of no-marks should get a single vote.

"hey Jacko, did you see Mind Your Language last night?"
“listen Jacko it’s not about all that, it’s just about getting out of Europe”

There are people willing to vote UKIP and fore-go basic morality because they think labour and the tories are shit. They will argue, vehemently, that “it’s not about the racism it’s” and we are left to guess. I am yet to be enlightened with the reason why any person with an ounce of awareness could vote for a party who appear to have a “Twat of The Day” thing going on..and boy do they deliver, daily.

The establishment have done well to deflect stuff like Saville, Clifford etc. but they really have played a blinder by using Farage, their image of “the ordinary man in the street”.  Smoking and having a bevvie whilst spewing out bile dressed up in populist soundbites and Barbour. Bile which was not even that popular, but ignorantly accepted, when used by Alf Garnett, Jim Davidson and Eddie Booth.  It kills Farage everytime yet another “candidate” Tweets their heart out. Not because he disagrees with much of the bollocks spouted by UKIP’s imbeciles but because he struggles with having to call it out as wrong.  His first line is “surely not, we don’t allow that” which, after being shown proof, usually ends up with “well, you can’t open your mouth these days without the socialist press jumping all over you”.  Can you imagine being accused of dipping into the tontine at work and saying to the tribunal “yes, I’ve had the tonnie right off, fucking big wedge, been doing it for years…and I hope I get the sack”, then winning the case and keeping your job?  Works well for Nigel…and why shouldn’t he help himself, they all do right?.  If truth be known he’s even less palatable than the last fella who liked to be called “Leader”.  You really want to be in his gang?

In 25 years time I fully expect to hear ex-UKIP’s claiming “yes, I was told he had raped his wife, abused a few kids and had a butler called sambo…but hey…that’s just how it was back in the day, and I only voted UKIP as a protest”.  An act summed up nicely by Stewart Lee who describes a protest vote for UKIP as being “like shitting in a hotel bed as a protest against bad service, and realising you now have to sleep in a shitted bed”.

If you are going to vote for UKIP then fine, but please forget trying to explain it and please spare me the “there are some things I don’t agree with but we need a change” it really does sound ridiculous. You will be voting for a party that has amongst it’s ranks the most ignorant abhorrent people this insane political structure has to offer you. Voting for any party condones them and EVERYTHING they say. Voting for UKIP is just a bit mental. Especially when you realise they don’t even have a manifesto and change policy according to the weather.

When I am told, which is quite often these days, “you have got to use your vote, me grandad fought so you could have your vote” I wonder if their grandad would approve of a party like UKIP? “yeah, you need to vote for them lad, the racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia forget all that, it’s all about sending a message to the other parties, and the establishment”.   My grandad would have said “fuck them all off, especially that disgrace called UKIP” and he should know, he fought too.

It’s not all about Farage, Hamilton, Bloom or “deffo not a real Lord” Monkton. A UKIP  vote will be lending creedence to people like Roger Helmer, the senior UKIP MEP, who’s latest campaign leaflet stated homosexuality is “not a valid lifestyle worthy of equal respect”. In the leaflet, bizarrely titled “Straight Talking on Europe”, Helmer denounced homosexual behaviour as “undesirable”. Maybe use your vote on Douglas Denny, a rank and file, would-be Ukip politician, who made headlines by commenting on a UKIP web forum that gay men and women were “abnormal”. He defended his assertion on the grounds of semantics – in the sense that they are not normal as they are a minority. Obviously Nigel is always there with a quick “it’s all been taken out of context”.  Which obviously happened when UKIP Councillor David Silvester from Henley-on-Thames attacked the passing of the same sex marriage legislation, and specifically David Cameron, for “acting arrogantly against the Gospel” stating “it is his fault that large swathes of the nation have been afflicted by storms and floods.”  Vote for him, that’ll show the tories and labour eh?


"me? with my reputation?"
“me? with my reputation?”

It’s not just UKIP obviously, but because the media allow them to appear to shout loudest, and obviously because they are speaking for “the majority”, then all common sense flies out of the window. Cameron wants us all to go back to church (perhaps as part of some personal repentance for causing the floods) and the BBC are in a quandary as how to deal with the planets most odious man and his use of the word “nigger”.  Which he emphatically denied yesterday, but is sorry and begging forgiveness for today. This is the same BBC who fought tooth and nail trying to save Jimmy Saville’s reputation. Which seems odd as I thought his reputation was accepted as that of being a slug with a penchant for necrophilia who, whilst not dining with the Queen or Thatcher, was allegedly procuring young boys for Ted Heath’s boat parties.

For those with any doubt about the establishments role in the rise of UKIP look no further than the people in the background, UKIP’s very own establishment. They, by all accounts, have little to do when it comes to policy, honest.

Take plain old William “man on the street” Dartmouth MEP. In his other life he just happens to be known as William Legge, 10th Earl of Dartmouth, step brother of the dearly departed Princess of Hearts (god bless you gerl) and is married to the ex-wife of Matt Handbury, you know him..Rupert Murdoch’s nephew.

How about that other “ordinary bloke just like you” Paul Sykes?  self made, working class philanthropist etc. etc. who was/is a major player in the “The Democracy Movement” once fronted by Lady Annabel Goldsmith (president). Her son, Robin Birley, was chairman and played host host to everybody’s favourite fascist dictator, the “too ill to stand trial” Augusto Pinochet. Who was looked after by the benevolent Robin during his stay under house arrest awaiting trial for basically every crime against humanity Pinochet, with the help of Maggie, got a walk-over.  SURELY You must know know Annabel? married to Lord Lucan’s best mate the late Jimmy Goldsmith? who wanted to end “the Communist infiltration of the Western media” via a British right-wing military coup. Annabels nightclub..?  yep, that’s her. Well her good friend Mr. Sykes is now funding UKIP and will, he says, “do anything it takes” to make UKIP a success. Obviously these people are only acting for the good of the UK and have no other interests that may well be financially stifled due to the continued membership of the EU and their incessant bloody rules.

For every shy, unassuming “one of the lads” like Farage and Sykes, there is at least one benefactor willing to tell it like it is…take Demetri Marchessini, he doesn’t believe rape can occur within marriage. Marchessini, a Greek shipping and investment tycoon, and funder of UKIP says ‘There’s no such thing… If you make love on Friday and you make love on Sunday, you can’t say Saturday is rape. Once a woman accepts, she accepts.’ He also said that the slave trade was beneficial to those enslaved. Oh, and that ‘there is no love, only lust’ in gay relationships.

“Yeah but lad, never mind all that, we need to let the establishment know we are not soft..that’s why I am voting UKIP”

…nurse, please, sooth my sides.


Max Clifford: ex-friend to the desperately rich and a convicted sex offender.
Max Clifford: ex-friend to the desperately rich and a convicted sex offender.

Anyways, back to Max…my money is on Clifford to be found alone in his cell having suffered a massive heart attack. Obviously brought on by the guilt and stress of a turbulent two years for him and his family (and not by the syringe found on his pillow next to the card saying “you have just been visited by the MI5’s”). They will tell us how sad it all is and how, had he survived, Operation Yewtree (who were eagerly awaiting his book) could have used his info in securing further prosecutions, obviously the manuscript and tapes Clifford handed to the BBC will all have been lost forever, with the now Director General of the BBC Noel Edmonds admitting that, to his eternal shame, it was destroyed “that mad night when we all done acid and Mr. Blobby flew out of the window”.

The link between politics, celebrity, establishment, media and cesspits is glaringly obvious and even more glaringly ignored. It always has been. It’s amazing that it is STILL ignored today and when faced with a simple “is this right or wrong” it would appear people, are simply at a loss.

When UKIP has served it’s purpose and having hopefully been once again shunned in a “proper” election I predict they will mourn the loss of Farage to the house of lords and eventually call it a day when Paul Nuttall forms the “aint no black in the union jack” party which, as the name clearly implies, is a single issue party intent on securing the best deal in Europe for the “right minded, sensible people of the UK”. As ever an absolute winner for those pulling the strings..and another bout of confusion for those with the absolute need to use grandads vote.

On the brighter side? on the day I discover the secret to eternal life, and UKIP actually affect policy, we will once again be able to have a ciggy in the ale-house.

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